Sten Gazette

The State of Alabama has finished its recount and concluded that the election was not actually won by President Bush.

Ima B. Leever, who is the acting Electoral Commissioner for the state, announced that during a routine check of absentee ballots, it was discovered that the President himself had not been properly counted.

“We got suspicious because he called himself a ‘compassionate conservative,’ and we know that’s just not right. Then he went and said he had a man date and we don’t much like that idea either.

“It’s simple arithmetic,” she said, pointing to a whiteboard. “The President’s name, George Walker Bush, has a base number of 177. That means if you take the numerical equivalent of each letter in his name, like A equals 1 and Z equals 26, then add all the numbers up, you get 177.”

Leever went on to say that the base number itself is not important. “It’s the Transnumerification that you have to look at.

“He’s our 43rd president, so you add 43 to the base number which gives you 220. Add 2 for his two terms and you get 222. Multiply that by his base index, which is the number of words in his name, and you get, ummm… six hundred and sixty six.

“So you see,” Leever concluded, “everybody who voted for him because he said he was Born Again was just in Deception. This election was won by none other than the Great Deceiver himself.”

Rev 13:18. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six.

–SG

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This entry was posted on Thursday, November 18th, 2004 at 10:53 pm and is filed under The President, Religion. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.